Yes, it was you (Eve), who was responsible for the fall of man. Yes, also agree that it was your (Draupadi) giggle that started the Mahabharata. You (Sita) were responsible for, Ramayana, also agree with that part. You (Helen) burnt Troy, agree. You are responsible for some of the greatest (remember Taj Mahal) and worst events of mankind, accepted. But why did that happen? It is because; we (men) need you. We’ll burn the world, wipe away humanity, and fight against God, for we need you. Bats are blind by nature, whereas though we have eyes, we are blind by character. It is you, who fills in the light in our lives and shape our character, so that we live like true honest men.
You (Mom) are always considered to be the weaker sex, but I understand your strength, for you bore me in your womb for 9-months and did almost all the daily routines and your man (father) only watched and helped a bit, which was his best. You bled, so that I may live. Your strength is what makes me breathe today, and makes me part of the stronger sex. Today, I proudly announce to the world that, I have a heart of a man and strength because of you. If anyone comes up to me, and says: ‘Don’t be a girl dude, be a man’, I’ll with an elan say, ‘I don’t mind being a woman, for my mother is one’. Next time someone says you are weaker, tell them about the son you have.
You (Mom) are considered to be nagging, but I understand that it is your constant nagging, that today makes me keep my room clean, walk straight upright, close my mouth while I sleep, pick up the rice bits after dinner- so that cockroaches do not roam around, write in good hand-writing, keep my computers motherboard intact by dusting it regularly, keep the required change in my pocket so that I can easily buy pop-corn at a movie. Don’t stop nagging, I may ask you to shut up like I always did, but you please don’t stop it, just like you never did.
You (Granny) are considered to be an old story teller and repetitive, but it is what gives me that extra answer to win in the tie-breaker of a quiz, a story to tell the little kids to keep them entertained, to tell my friends the history of a place to score that extra brownie-points, the ethics-the values-the culture for which people around me admire. I know you shall be soon, gone, but before you leave the earth, tell me the tales once again, even if I fall asleep.
You (sister) are considered to be the one throwing tantrums, but this is what makes me get my shirt ironed by just dropping you at the bus-stop. Your tantrums, keeps my room clean, your tantrums give storyline to my blogs. Your tantrums, makes me know, how much you love me, when I am sick. If it weren’t for your tantrums, I would not have known the art of combing my hair well, cleaning my shoes and get things from dad, which only your tantrums could do. If I had never fought with you for the TV remote, I would have never hated ‘Bobby Darling’, ‘Ektha-Kapur’, ‘saas-bahu sobs’. Keep throwing your tantrums, keep acting pricey, it helps me, with Dad and with other girls and for keeping me away from the TV-ghost. For without your tantrums and pampering, I would have never missed you, when you’d leave me.
You (friend), people say bitch about others, you are branded as gossipmonger, but if it weren’t for you, I would have never known the news about the most happening things, I wouldn’t have been on guard against the cunning foxes and vixen, I wouldn’t have laughed out till I cried at someone with a bad hair day, I would not have understood the difference between pale yellow and lemon yellow colors. It is because, you are in my life, I can cry in a corner and still not be laughed at. It is because of you I’d still have a friend no matter how many times you get hooked up or break-up unlike guys, whose friendship and time lasts only till he finds a girl. Spread gossips, bitch about others and keep me close to your heart, for you are the one who keeps me sane and hopeful.
You (Love); most of them say is a headache, a burdened commitment. But am glad, I’ll someday have you. For then I shall know, how to look at life in a different way. If I wouldn’t have this headache, I would never shaved properly, never eat in the best restaurants, would not work that extra hard to earn that little extra, would never stop smoking and boozing, I would not enjoy the rains. Someday hope you will give me these headaches, for I want to understand people’s emotion, write the best poems, and plan for the future.
You (wife), they say is a trouble. And I am happy I‘ll have joyful troubles. Trouble of being a man, trouble of keeping my woman happy, trouble of being a rock-star’s father, trouble of taking you to the most exotic places on earth, trouble of spending and saving money, trouble of being addressed as someone’s hubby, trouble of crying with you, laughing with you, sharing a life with you. Without you, I’d be happily left alone, with no one to wish on my birthday and no one to cry when I’d die. So keep making troubles in my life and give me kids, who’d make my life happily-miserable. For I want life, and for that I need you as a trouble.
I do not how else to thank you, you exist in different forms, from being the one who makes sure I’m never late to the office, to the one who nurses me when lying hopelessly on a hospital bed. We need alcohol in our systems to have guts and speak the truth, but you do it just like any other thing. It helps. You teach me the first alphabet, and you make me write Romeo & Juliet kind of stories. You are the life of a song and the death behind the death-meal. You are the soul of Titanic movie and the brains behind simple but most essential things. Unless you point out to me, I do not even know, who my father would be, who my brother would be. Einstein swears by you, a baby hopes by you, Edison learnt from you, a Kolkattan destitute smiles by you(Mother Theresa) and irony is even a pimp lives by you. You are degraded by some of us, yet we hold you the most dearest in our lives. You may well be just a rib of Adam, but you are the breath and reason behind every man.
To all the lovely women in my life, who are present now, and would come in as I move-on in life. Love to you. May your lives shine, so that I’ll be fine, I may sound like a selfish-dog, but in your case, I am happy to even be a dog, for I wish to be faithful.
Dedicated to all the wonderful women in my life(the ones who are present, the ones to come).
Aasta La Vista!!